This story picks up from where I left off in my last post. If you want to start from the beginning, check out Back to the Real Me.
The more I simplify and get rid of everything weighing me down, the more I realize that I’m getting back to my true self. I’m not just shedding extra clothes and shoes and useless gadgets; I’m also shedding years of habits and thoughts that I had adopted as my own that were not serving me in the slightest. Slowly but surely, I’m letting go of my hate for my body, of feeling like everything has to be perfect, including myself, and I’m saying goodbye to the insecure, beaten down, sad and lonely version of myself that has existed for far too long.
As I uncover what really matters to me and find out what truly brings me joy, I am finding myself – the me that I have missed! And the me that I’ve longed for and honestly feared was lost forever. Thankfully I’m able to let go of the anger and resentment towards those who helped shape me into that sad version, as well.
Now I know with certainly some of the things I want to make a priority in my life (listed randomly): taking time to appreciate the miracle of nature, listening to, making, and writing music, strengthening my faith in God, reading endlessly about things that interest me (or a sappy novel, or mystery, or …), writing parts of my story to share with the world, writing down my hopes and dreams (or worries, or grocery lists, or… – just writing down everything!), drinking good coffee and good wine (emphasis on good), eating the cheese, saying “yes!” to the chocolate, and spending quality time with my family and real friends (you know, the “quarter friends” who are genuinely putting an effort into our relationship).
This is my current list of priorities, but also “allowed” and desired in this process is the ability and freedom to adjust! Yes! We can change our priorities. We can change our minds. And we should! We should definitely take stock of what’s going well in our lives (and what isn’t) and take action, usually in the form of shifting our priorities.
As I make time for these things each day, I can feel myself letting go of the past, making room for more good in the future. But most importantly I am allowing myself the time and space to be here, right now, enjoying the present, without regrets (past) or worry (future). Just being the me that I am supposed to be, right now.